My Passion?

Having followed so many motivational people and read many articles, i do understand that as a youth i have to be able to do something for the society. I have the responsibility as a nationalist and human, that i have to help people, or at least doing something useful for people. I shall not just sit around in my desk,go home at 18.00 (i seldom go home at 17.00), just sit and watch TV serials or movies whilst dining, and just browsing random stuff like socmed, 9gag, or kpop things.

Somehow this thoughts become a burden in my shoulder. Each day i wake up I question myself; what will i do today? Will i spend my office hour wisely, go home on time, then doing something nice/useful? What if i have to stay late at the office? What if i’m too tired then i go home, then i go back doing silly things as always? When will i do something,achieve something?

I follow many inspirational people on twitter, even some of my friends sometimes post inspirational words. Some of them have already know what are their passion, some of them have even achieve some great accomplishments. Some of them have establish their own business, some of them join social and cultural network for humanities, some of them join and even win competitions, some of them get married, some of them basically just lucky to have a bigger salary than me. All these accomplishments just make me feel more burdened. I actually prefer to use the word ‘motivating me’, but i do admit than until now i haven’t really do something like them so i just choose the words ‘burden me’.

What is my passion? Everyday I ask this question to myself. When i was sad,when i was tired with my job, even when i was happy. Why should i be sad when i didn’t succeed something in my job? Does it mean that i love my current job so that when i fail to do something i become sad? But i also hate some jobs of mine (especially the contractor/quotation things), does it mean that i actually hate this job? Is my current job really my passion?

Some motivators said that passion is what you love to do most. If your job is your truly passion, then you must not feel sad/tired/burdened, you will feel that you are just playing, experiencing, having fun with it. Well sometimes i don’t feel the fun in my certain jobdesc,so is this really my passion?

Lately i really enjoy browsing about crafts and DIYs. It all started when there was a new shopping mall around the area. There’s a small shop who looks like a tumblr-hipster-vintage-stuffs shop. The displays, the products, the atmosphere, it was PERFECT. I usually hate hipeter-things, so it really took me a surprise that suddenly i love those things. Instagram-filtered-notebook covers, DIY storages, cute postcards, alumunium buckets, hanging pictures, vintage cameras and stuffs, it was all nice and beautiful. I really like to touch them all, looking at every details (and of course the price). This is the start of something new in me, the passion, i think. Because afterwards i reeeallly love to browse for such stuffs. My biggest shopping emporium is Etsy.com, and those leads to numerous cute shops and amazingly creative people.

As my motivational spirit rise, I begin to start dreaming. Someday I will open this kind of store. I visit a nearby shop that sells fabric and accessories materials. I begin to cut things, stitch them, roll them, mix-n-match the fabrics. I collect my junk, from plastics to the old calendar. As a green-mindset student I want to run a green business that recycle things.

I learn that this is a very fun activities, just like an art projects back then at school. I can do it whilst I watch TV or watching the Kpop MVs. It is simple and fun, enjoyable. Well at first I set my goal to make something useful from a used products, but i tolerate myself to practice my hands first (am I being too tolerant here?). I set a target that at least I have to make something each day, even though it is not a real useful/pretty products. I can do the experiments, I have to be skillful, I train my hands to become handy (forgive the pun).

And now my table looks pretty, with colorful things and inspirational pictures that I collect from Houzz.com. I wonder that someday i will decorate other people’s table like this. Someday I will run a small but cute shop like my inspirational shop in the mall. I think I begin to find my passion J